Owen Pallett fansite

“Interview” (Simon Bookish cover)


I find myself
In an imposing boardroom
Lined in oak
For a job interview

On the long table in front of me
Is a sheaf of papers
I rummage through

(I) come across a brief, a job description
But haven’t time to read further
As the door opens

The interviewer turns out to be
The raincheck
Ex-Prime Minister

She sits down next to me
I forget who she is

The questions she asks are very vague
I forget them too
I mumble vague responses

Question 10 is very clear:

“Leo, which British monarch do you most identify with, and why?”

I reply, with conviction,

“Queen Victoria”

I lied, I am very embarrassed.
Before I can apologise, the raincheck gets up and leaves the room.
She is obviously upset by my tactless insult.